Tuesday, November 13, 2012

TERI KHUSHI KE LIYE MAINE AB TUJHE HI CHOD DIYA…

Here’s something a boy like anyone of us wants to say to a girl who he wanted to be his soul mate & love but destiny had cherry-picked something else… Kitni ajeeb baat hai na jab tum mere paas thi to har dam ye sochta tha ki kya main teri kadar nai karta…. Aur aaj jab tu mere paas nai to ye ehsaas hota hai ki kadar to hamesha hi thi par tujhe na khone ke yakeen ne andha kar diya tha… Mera tujhse alag hona itna hi naamumkin tha jitna tera mujhse nafrat karna….. Baitha hun thandi zameen par aankhon me teri wo ek dimple wali pyaari hasi… haath me teri ek tasveer hai jise dekh ke mai har pal mai tere chehre pe aane wale baal tere kaano pe laga deta hun…. Tujhe bahut tang karte hai na…. Mobile pe fake call pet era naam daal diya hai….. shuru karke bahut khush ho jata hun,,,, aur jab aas paas koi nai hota to man behlaane ke liye do chaar baate b kar liya karta hun…. Tere jawaab to mujhe pata hi hote hai na….teri payal ab mere haathon me bandhi rehti hai….ikdum waise hi… haan par uske ghungroo jarur nikal liye hain…. TAAKI TERI MAUJOODGI KA YAAKEEN TO HO, PAR EHSAAS NAHI…..yaad aati hai wo teri mangharat kahaniya… jo roz raat tu mujhe sunati thi…hole se Baby so gaya kya puch k eek goodnyt kiss de jaati thi…. Tu sulati thi to so jata tha, tu nahi sulati to aisa lagta hai ki meri neend hi so gai hai… wo meri pyaari si bachi, bheed me kahin kho gayi hai….jab bhi teri bahut yaad aati hai, to apne takiye ko bahut zor se hug kar leta hun, par ye to mujhe wapis gale hi nahi lagati…. Dekh na isko daant de…bol na ise tang na kare….bol na…. gaane nahi suntan hun mai ab… aur nahi sun paata hun apna hi naam… har cheez se tu judi hai…har chhez me tu basi hai, dil me kahin fasi hai…. Yaad aati hai wo gali mujhe… jahan mai aya karta tha… khud coffe shop me khada hoke tujhe balcony me bulaya karta tha….gali to ab bhi wahi hai, dukaane b wahi hai… bas bheed bahut ho gai hai… us choti si gali me ab mere liye jagah nahi… abhi abhi to rah mili thi… ki manzil hi mud gayi kahin….. Rota hun bhilakta hun… har dam girta padta hun… koi nahi hai puchne wala… koi nahi hai puchta, Baby jyada to nai lagi na….aa kissi kar dun…ab sab sahi ho jaega… kaun mujhe roz roz breakfast ki yaad dilaega… kaun mujhe ulti seedhi harkate karne se warn karega… kaun mujhe horror movies dekh dekh ke raat bhar jagaega… akun phone pe itni zor zor se chilaega…kaun mujhe anjaano se baat karne se rokega….kaun mujhe baat baat pe tokega… kaun mere ek phone ke liye din bhar wait karega… kaun banega bacha mera… kisko pyaar karunga… kiski hifazat karke bahut laad karunga…cheen leti apne aap ko… kyun cheen mujhse meri wo bachi… bahut masoom hai wo..akal se hai wo thodi kachi… jaanta hun wo kahin zinda hai… zinda hai wo tujhme… bandhi hui hai wo nafrat ki zanzeero me… jinko todne ki takat nai abhi usme… par ye na sochna ki ye bhi hai ek koshish…tu kabhi nahi aa sakti zindagi me ab meri… agar bhula na paunga wo pyaari si yaadein teri… shayad is chote se dil ke liye tu bahut badi ho gai…. Shayad ek pyaar ke saagar me kuch boondo ki kami ho gayi hai.. Khush rakhna ise ae mere khuda… tere aansu kabhi nah o teri aankhon se juda… mereaansu jhoote lagte hai to nahi sunegi meri ab siskiyaan…ye meri kasam hai.. ye dard ko daba lunga mai… in aansuo ko chupa lunga mai…in yaadon ki aag ko ashko se bhuja loonga mai… leta hun ab ek aakri alvida tujhse…karta hun ab is choti si kahani ka pyara sa ant… Khush rehna tu hamesha…khushiyan mile tujhe anant…. Jaa teri nazro se maine ab muh mod liya… TERI KHUSHI KE LIYE MAINE AB TUJHE HI CHOD DIYA…

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

A Conversation


Once I was travelling in a bus from New Delhi to Chandigarh... It was Punjab road lines bus with three seats on one side & two on the other. I grabbed a window seat on the three seats line. Within minutes a couple came and parked themselves next to me. The bus was almost occupied & was all set to travel. It was dusk & I thought I’ll sleep early to pass stretch & to forget the pain in the ass by sitting on that bench.... I took out my headset, connected to my phone & started listening to music. Was almost dozed, & I also remember I was dreaming something n then suddenly I heard “I Love you”. I was stunned to hear that in my dragons & lions dream. I slightly opened my eyes in bit mix-up in my mind; Was it real. I heard that phrase again, I reduced the volume of the music & then I saw the boy sitting next to me was saying to the girl sitting next to her. That I Love you was not an expression of love what I understood, it was kind of a plea! The boy kept on asking her permission to let him listen. The boy said hang on to me for two minutes & promise I won’t ask anything again. Finally, the girl gave her the consent to speak. First I thought it’s a bad habit to peep into others life but I had to disremember the pain of sitting on that seat & they were the one who spoilt my doze & my scary dragon & lions dream. So, I decided to overhear that conversation & to see how that boy will pacify that girl in two minutes because the girl gave the impression of to be fuming. I displayed myself to be still sleeping & sloped little to get clearer what he say. The boy started like this: I love you so much; I cannot express my love in words. I know sometimes I offend u a lot but seriously trust me I never do it purposely it always happens with me. And I try to do whatnot you say but on occasion for me also it gets tough to do what you say but still I try as much as I can. One more thing which I want to clear is that whenever you are annoyed & I do some things which annoys you more, then u scream at me n say I do it to bother you more, but it’s not correct I don’t do it to bother u but I do it so that u can laugh n to reduce your frustration. I don’t know if I’m sure of that you love me or how much you love me but I’m always very afraid of losing u. I cannot afford to loose you. I know I’m mad n I don’t think much before doing things, it’s because I don’t like to use my brain to think, brains are very selfish, egocentric n rude. N I don’t like to be selfish or rude. That’s the reason I use my HEART to think. I very well know what I do is not right but I can’t help myself I don’t do it deliberately. This is the biggest problem in me that 80% of things which I do are those which I don’t do it intentionally but they happens n then I’m always answerable for that. When you yell at me sometimes I feel very bad n angry & feel like to slap u but I don’t. I don’t know why I cannot do that, I believe there’s some external force which stops me n make me calm within seconds n I don’t know this external force will remain with me forever or not. If not then I don’t know what will happen. Because what u want I can never understand that, you want a husband or an ass licker only god knows. I don’t know why u loves me!!! What’s the reason behind that? As behind your every move there’s a reason, your mastermind starts working whenever you have to do anything new. Why I love u there is no reason behind that as I always loved u even before u was aware of that but why you started loving me; to clear my credits on you when I was with you in your hard times. You love me but just as your object as I’m your personal property. You take care of me as you do for your things; you want your things to be just with you as you want me to be with you. You want that what you say whatever it is it should be done no matter how but it has to be done. I don’t know I’m very confused what you want or what I want from my life. Sometimes I feel that how will I live my life with you but I also know that I cannot live my life without you. If I’ll live with u I don’t know that I’ll live happily or not but this for sure that if I’ll not live with u I can never live happily. I don’t know how much you love me but I love u from the bottom of my heart. If you want you can judge me anytime. But I cannot judge you because to judge a girls heart is to evaluate the depth of the ocean. No matter what you do with me I’ll always love u more than my life. The girl started crying & said I know I’m very rude sometimes I know it. I don’t like it. But I do it to make sure that you don’t start taking me for granted. I’m sure now that you’ll never ever do it…. You can never break my trust. I promise you, I’ll never be rude at you again & will always stay with you. Let’s go back home tomorrow itself. I don’t want to go to my mum’s house. They hugged n kissed & patch up. Even I had a tear in my eyes after listening to all that, I wanted to congratulate that guy & compliment for an incredible way of taking all of your frustration in such a manner. I was sure that guy just wanted to abuse that girl in a good manner. He made that girl feel like $#it. I loved it & learned a lot from him. What a way to express yourself….. Rather bursting out your rage…... We reached Chandigarh & I didn’t feel no pain in my ass….. I thanked them in my heart for that……….