Wednesday, May 9, 2012

A Conversation


Once I was travelling in a bus from New Delhi to Chandigarh... It was Punjab road lines bus with three seats on one side & two on the other. I grabbed a window seat on the three seats line. Within minutes a couple came and parked themselves next to me. The bus was almost occupied & was all set to travel. It was dusk & I thought I’ll sleep early to pass stretch & to forget the pain in the ass by sitting on that bench.... I took out my headset, connected to my phone & started listening to music. Was almost dozed, & I also remember I was dreaming something n then suddenly I heard “I Love you”. I was stunned to hear that in my dragons & lions dream. I slightly opened my eyes in bit mix-up in my mind; Was it real. I heard that phrase again, I reduced the volume of the music & then I saw the boy sitting next to me was saying to the girl sitting next to her. That I Love you was not an expression of love what I understood, it was kind of a plea! The boy kept on asking her permission to let him listen. The boy said hang on to me for two minutes & promise I won’t ask anything again. Finally, the girl gave her the consent to speak. First I thought it’s a bad habit to peep into others life but I had to disremember the pain of sitting on that seat & they were the one who spoilt my doze & my scary dragon & lions dream. So, I decided to overhear that conversation & to see how that boy will pacify that girl in two minutes because the girl gave the impression of to be fuming. I displayed myself to be still sleeping & sloped little to get clearer what he say. The boy started like this: I love you so much; I cannot express my love in words. I know sometimes I offend u a lot but seriously trust me I never do it purposely it always happens with me. And I try to do whatnot you say but on occasion for me also it gets tough to do what you say but still I try as much as I can. One more thing which I want to clear is that whenever you are annoyed & I do some things which annoys you more, then u scream at me n say I do it to bother you more, but it’s not correct I don’t do it to bother u but I do it so that u can laugh n to reduce your frustration. I don’t know if I’m sure of that you love me or how much you love me but I’m always very afraid of losing u. I cannot afford to loose you. I know I’m mad n I don’t think much before doing things, it’s because I don’t like to use my brain to think, brains are very selfish, egocentric n rude. N I don’t like to be selfish or rude. That’s the reason I use my HEART to think. I very well know what I do is not right but I can’t help myself I don’t do it deliberately. This is the biggest problem in me that 80% of things which I do are those which I don’t do it intentionally but they happens n then I’m always answerable for that. When you yell at me sometimes I feel very bad n angry & feel like to slap u but I don’t. I don’t know why I cannot do that, I believe there’s some external force which stops me n make me calm within seconds n I don’t know this external force will remain with me forever or not. If not then I don’t know what will happen. Because what u want I can never understand that, you want a husband or an ass licker only god knows. I don’t know why u loves me!!! What’s the reason behind that? As behind your every move there’s a reason, your mastermind starts working whenever you have to do anything new. Why I love u there is no reason behind that as I always loved u even before u was aware of that but why you started loving me; to clear my credits on you when I was with you in your hard times. You love me but just as your object as I’m your personal property. You take care of me as you do for your things; you want your things to be just with you as you want me to be with you. You want that what you say whatever it is it should be done no matter how but it has to be done. I don’t know I’m very confused what you want or what I want from my life. Sometimes I feel that how will I live my life with you but I also know that I cannot live my life without you. If I’ll live with u I don’t know that I’ll live happily or not but this for sure that if I’ll not live with u I can never live happily. I don’t know how much you love me but I love u from the bottom of my heart. If you want you can judge me anytime. But I cannot judge you because to judge a girls heart is to evaluate the depth of the ocean. No matter what you do with me I’ll always love u more than my life. The girl started crying & said I know I’m very rude sometimes I know it. I don’t like it. But I do it to make sure that you don’t start taking me for granted. I’m sure now that you’ll never ever do it…. You can never break my trust. I promise you, I’ll never be rude at you again & will always stay with you. Let’s go back home tomorrow itself. I don’t want to go to my mum’s house. They hugged n kissed & patch up. Even I had a tear in my eyes after listening to all that, I wanted to congratulate that guy & compliment for an incredible way of taking all of your frustration in such a manner. I was sure that guy just wanted to abuse that girl in a good manner. He made that girl feel like $#it. I loved it & learned a lot from him. What a way to express yourself….. Rather bursting out your rage…... We reached Chandigarh & I didn’t feel no pain in my ass….. I thanked them in my heart for that……….

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